Best Songs of 2008: "Love In This Club"

6′8″, 167 lbs. Acne. Nearsighted. Squeaky voice. Magic: The Gathering playing cards. Theatre club president. Voit basketball shoes, size 15. Lee jeans. No dates. No action. That was me, Christian Stephens, before I started using pick-up lines from Usher. Sure, it was scary at first, and it required a little practice. But now, no woman at the bar stands a chance when I whisper, “Let’s both get undressed right here. Keep it up girl, and I swear I’m gonna give it to you non-stop, and I don’t care who’s watching.” I’m playing girls now – not Dungeons & Dragons. If “Love In This Club” worked for me, it can work for you too.

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Usher – “Love In This Club” (Sharebee)

Best Songs of 2008: "DLZ"

Have you ever had a dream that kind of just sneaks up on you? You know, it starts out like any regular dream, but it has a shocking twist at the end that immediately wakes you up in a blank daze and a cold sweat? For example, you have this friend that has been married to a really cool girl for a few years. In the dream, you’re just about to go to bed, but he comes over alone to say hi because he was in the neighborhood. You’re really happy to see him because you haven’t seen him in a while, so you invite him into the living room, where you lay down on the couch and he sits down beside you. You’re tired, so you’re kind of drifting in and out of consciousness, saying really goofy incoherent things, and, all of a sudden, your friend leans in to kiss you. The smile on your face turns into a look of bewilderment as you turn and exclaim, “You’re married, dude! To a girl!” But then he’s embarassed, and he’s still your friend, so you don’t want him to feel bad, and it just gets really akward. That’s drama. TV On The Radio know drama. “DLZ” plays like one of those dreams, careening between good dream and nightmare territory without ever really settling; allowing no closure, no security, and no real sense of satisfaction – just question marks, the answers to which can only be found within the song/dream itself.

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TV On The Radio – “DLZ”

Best Songs of 2008: "Put On"

The haunting synths from Drumma Boy, Jeezy talking about weed (again), and Yeezy going emo? These dudes made you proud to represent your hood… even if you were a white kid from Salt Lake City. They should be given a Nobel Prize.

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Young Jeezy – “Put On”

Best Songs of 2008: "Just Dance" & "Womanizer"

No offense, but these two songs made a lot of deaf people even more sad.

Lady GaGa – “Just Dance” (Sharebee)

Britney Spears – “Womanizer” (Sharebee)

Best Songs of 2008: "Kim & Jessie"

That chick that is second from the right looks like Molly Ringwald. The song sounds like it would be in a Molly Ringwald film. If it looks like Molly Ringwald and sounds like Molly Ringwald, is it a rat?

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M83 – “Kim & Jessie” (Sharebee)

Best Songs of 2008: "Forever"

There are music snobs out there that hate to see their favorite songs in commercials and popularized. 2008 was not a good year for those people. Suburban girls pretended to shoot people with their hands while singing along to “Paper Planes.” Radiohead’s “15 Step” was in the closing credits of the tween blockbuster Twilight. And Wrigley’s commisioned Chris Brown for a commercial about Doublemint gum. Brown’s command to “double your pleasure/double your fun” became the summer’s oddest yet equally refreshing anthem.

Chris Brown – “Forever” (Sharebee)

Best Songs of 2008: "Royal Flush"

Prediction: Big Boi and Andre 3000 are going to own 2009. You heard it here first.

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Big Boi – “Royal Flush” (Sharebee)

Best Songs of 2008: "A Milli"

HOW IT WAS MADE…

Bangladesh: Yo daaag, why you always change yo’ voice when you be rappin’?

Weezy: I am a martian.

Bangladesh: Yo fa real tho, you sound like a monster or a rapist or somethin’.

Weezy: I am a martian.

Bangladesh: Yo check this new beat son… (presses play) “A MILLI A MILLI A MILLI A MILLI A MIL A MIL A MILLI…”

Weezy: Ya dig? Yeah! Mack, I’m goin’ in. A millionaire. Ima young money millie in aire, tougher than Nigerian hair…

And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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Lil’ Wayne – “A Milli” (Sharebee)

Best Songs of 2008: "Nothing Ever Happened"

Indie Rock [in-dee rok] noun – 1. music made by geeks that want to be cool but don’t want to be cool at the same time, 2. music made by people that try too hard to look like they are not trying, 3. music made by people that look malnourished, 4. music made by posers, 5. music for posers.

Examples – The Arcade Fire, Sufjan Stevens, The Decemberists, Stars, Tegan and Sara, and Deerhunter.

Notable Exceptions – Sonic Youth, Pavement, Modest Mouse, and Deerhunter.

Deerhunter – “Nothing Ever Happened” (Sharebee)

Best Songs of 2008: "Charlotte"

If Booka Shade were to submit a resumé, “Charlotte” would be its cover letter – both for the obvious reason that it starts with what sounds like a commercial, as well as for the single reason that makes so many of their tracks instantly memorable - the hook. They’ve been making pop songs for years now. Not pop songs like “Top 40″ but pop songs like “catchy.” For the most part, their third LP, The Sun and the Neon Light, was a misfire, but for four minutes, they were able to channel the same spirit that inspired previous Ibiza-approved tracks like “Body Language” and compose this beauty with a beefy bassline and bright synths. The best thing about this song: the ghostly vocoder-tinged vocals in the background – waaaaay more hummable than that other pop song that came out this year by Madonna and Timba-lake that lasts for about, well, four minutes.

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Booka Shade – “Charlotte” (Sharebee)